Racism in America? You Damn Well Betcha.

The conservative blogosphere is simply aghast that President Jimmy Carter has had the unmitigated gall to say that part of the atmosphere of detestation and disrespect directed at America's first black president is thinly veiled racism. To some extent they have a point: the vitriol pouring out of their corner of the press and the internet seems fairly evenly directed at any politician who dares to be a Democrat, regardless of race, creed, color, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other metric of "how much you're different from me."

The conservative blogosphere, however, needs to get real and climb down out of their lofty manses to take the pulse of some real, red-blooded (and -necked) Amerikans. Even before Barack Obama was nominated, much less elected, racist jokes were already circulating. Here are two I heard from well-educated die-hard conservative professionals in the weeks leading up to the Democratic convention:

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Eyes."
"Eyes who?"
(Step 'n' Fetchit-style caricature of Obama with speech balloon): "Eyes yo new President."

and

Q: "What does CHANGE stand for?"
A. "Come Help A Ni**er Get Elected."

Nope, ain't no racists out there - none at all...

The Un-Official Sarah Palin Dictionary

Have you seen the book Sarah Palin "wrote," Going Rogue, yet? Me neither. But I've read enough excerpts and seen enough (in fact, way too many!) reviews to pretty much figure out that America's only ex-GILF has done her usual job of casting herself in the best light while putting down anyone who disagrees with her (about half the country) or knows more than she does about the issues (more like 60%). Not certain who she got to ghost-write the weighty tome - it might have been Karl Rove, considering the slant.

Anyhow, Sarah and Ghostie have done a bang-up job of redefining about half the words in the English language. But, then, how better to claim that what you say is "true" than to redefine what "true" means?

So, without further ado, the un-Official Sarah Palin Dictionary:

agree: verb, quote the same talk-show host - Ann Coulter and I agree on immigration.
American: noun, someone who agrees with me - That Lou Dobbs is a great American, you betcha!
authority: noun, someone with a college degree (in any subject) who agrees with me - Jerome Corsi is a leading authority on the climate

badger: verb, expect an answer to a question - Katy Couric badgered me.
biased: adjective, disagrees with me - Katy Couric is biased.

climate scientist: noun, anyone with a "science degree" (c.f. Dr. Laura). NB: people with degrees in climate science are not climate scientists, they are biased (which see).
communist: noun, someone who disagrees with me - Barack Obama is a communist.
compromise: verb, do it my way (or don't do it at all) - I am willing to compromise on the health care plan.
conservative: adjective, right - Ronald Reagan was a great conservative

fascist: noun, someone who disagrees with me - Barack Obama is a fascist.
fact: noun, a statement, statistic, or opinion that agrees with me - It is a fact that I can see Russia from my front porch

idiot: noun, someone who disagrees with me - I don't care if Steven Chu has a PhD in physics, he's an idiot about science.

liberal: noun, anyone to the left of Ron Paul; adjective, wrong - That liberal Nancy Pelosi can take her liberal ideas on her liberal 757 and stick them in the liberal port-a-potty.
lie: noun, a statement, opinion, or statistic that disagrees with me - Obama is going to take away your guns tomorrow. Any statement to the contrary is a lie.

respect: verb, agree with  - I have the utmost respect for Glenn Beck.
"rino": noun, someone who disagrees with me - That Snowe bitch who voted to let the 'crat's health bill out of committee is a rino. We gotta knock her off in the next primary.

socialist: noun, anyone to the left of Ron Paul; adjective, wrong - Barack Obama is a socialist.
stupid: adjective, disagrees with me - I don't care if Paul Krugman has a Nobel Prize in Economics, he's stupid.

truth: noun, whatever I think or say - Katy Couric is mean, and that's the truth. pbbbbbbbbt!

un-American: adjective, disagrees with me - Barack Obama is un-American.
uninformed: adjective, disagrees with me - Katy Couric is uninformed.

More to follow as I'm reminded of 'em.