Why Social Networks are More Antisocial than Not

Ever notice how some people just cannot stand it if you disagree with them? In olden days, it seems that – when people had to talk to each other face to face – if people disagreed, they’d talk it out. Maybe one would point out something the other had missed; gently correct a mistake, offer an alternative explanation. That no longer happens, at least on-line and especially if the two parties will never meet face to face. It’s not unreasonable to wonder if this is a result of the blue-ribbon for everyone generation and the Lake Woebegone effect… here: check out this exchange.

Set-up: the website is Nextdoor.com (a “social network" for people living near each other); the topic is a new store from the Meijer superstore chain that had opened nearby. Here’s the conversation:

Joe) Well, we gave it a try (not just once, about five times)... but it's still a Meijer with all the irritants we've come to expect: many empty spaces on the shelves, lots of items stocked in the wrong location, and not enough checkers for the number of customers: 11:00 AM on Friday, and only two checkstands open?

Jane) My experience with things in life has been if you're looking for the negative you'll find it every time, Perhaps a different view would help… Joe) [My] experience in the retail industry… is that if you have products to buy you will earn your profit. If you leave an empty space on the shelf, you lose the sale. I don't understand why Meijer can't seem to figure this out. Judy) To each their own.  As with anything you can't please everyone. Jill) You just cannot please everyone. There are always going to be those people that are not happy period. Just enjoy life and be thankful you had the money to go to buy what you need.

Jim) You are a sad sap. Open your own grocery and I will tear it up on how 'bad' it is. Take a nap and eat a cookie

I see what you’re doing there, folks: Joe has a complaint. Jane, Judy, Jill, and Jim disagree. All four seem to find it necessary to paint Joe as a whiner and negative, the three women are passively aggressive in attempting to bring Joe down by calling his opinion inferior to theirs. In this way, they seem to feel they can elevate their own standing. Jim goes so far as to call Joe names and make an overtly insulting comment.

In a world where everyone valued the opinions of others there might be a discussion of the stocking pattern at the store. Perhaps someone would point out that stores often have empty shelves early in the week because there are no deliveries over the weekend. Perhaps someone would commiserate and say, “I haven’t seen that yet, but it would drive me nuts!” But no – instead, the anonymous correspondents think that, by tearing someone else down, they make themselves superior.

They’re wrong, by the way…

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