Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Idiot Report: September 30 2010

The Idiot of the Day for September 30, 2010 (Houston Chronicle Edition), is Michael Johnston of Humble, Texas. In response to Nick Anderson's editorial cartoon of September 29th


Johnston says in his letter to the Houston Chronicle that he'd "like to see a similar sketch called '2012 DNC platform' and showing Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow and Keith Olberman standing on a platform labeled MSNBC."

WTF, Mike? Are you saying that MSNBC is paying Maddow, Mathews, and Olberman salaries while they campaign for the 2012 Democratic nomination for President? I may live in Texas, but I'm pretty sure I have yet to see any of the three's name on a bumper sticker, like the "Palin 2012" sticker my neighbor's monster pickup sports (right next to that "SECEDE" sticker). Do you not GET IT, Michael? It's not that Fox employs these four, it's that these four are running for office and Fox News happily provides them a soapbox - a "platform" if you will - from which they can spout their campaign rhetoric at will. That is the point, to which you're apparently blind.

Johnston's apparently just one more example of someone who was never taught critical thinking skills in school - probably a victim of a "no child left behind" education system, which Texas implemented in 1994 .

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Dumbass of the Day, September 10 (Houston Chronicle Edition)

Herman T. Wilson, Jr., of Houston is "Steamed" over the impending merger of Continental and United Airlines, especially the announcement that the new airline's HQ will be in Chicago. Fair enough, I'd have rather it stayed in Houston, though I have to admit that - if I worked for Continental - I'd be more than happy to get out of the hell that is Houston's summer.

But Hermie seems to also have a problem with scope. You see, Herm opens his missive by yammering, "Our hometown airline, Continental, will be President Obama's personal toy when merged with United Airlines."

What a fatuous idiot: how the everloving HELL does moving the combined airline's HQ to Chicago make it Obama's "personal toy"? No, wait, I get it: he hates Obama and wants the world to know. What he actually succeeded in showing the world is that he's a dumbass. Glad I could help.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Why I Love Facebook...

FOAFs. That's why - Friends Of A Friend. They are so incredibly entertaining sometimes!

Yesterday one of my (few) facebook friends suggested that a couple of well-known figures should be marooned on a desert island in a sort of winner-take-all cage match. All was cruising along until a FOAF chimed in with the following:  Contestant #1 "...is an ass, tried to run me over one day at [street corner]. What kind of douche has a nice black Corvette and pays a driver? That kind..."

Turns out FOAF is a bike messenger, which calls into question any statement about someone "trying to run [him] over," but we'll let that slide.

FOAF then says, "I was on a bicycle making a delivery to civil court. After the C*nt tried to hit me, he double parked outside of the court house. Really shocking right?"

Okay. Deep breath.

First, you jackass, a man isn't a "C*nt." Second, you moron, the guy wasn't driving the car. I repeat, you stupid asswipe, you yourself just said that the man you called a C*nt "pays a driver." Look up there- you said it, you stupid ass! So who is it that's a C*nt? Seems to me your beef is with the driver, not the man in the passenger seat.  No, wait, I'm sure you heard the man in the passenger seat shout to the driver, "Get that bike messenger!" You know what bothers me most about this exchange? this moron gets to vote.

I guess this is all because "No Child Left Behind" teaches people how to take tests, not how to think. No wonder Republicans love the idea so much.