Republicans are Fat People who Try to Kill Pedestrians

From the "You Could Look it Up" file...

In case you never noticed, twisted logic dominates political dialog. Take for instance the Texan who jumped the fence and wandered into the White House last week. Sayeth all those right-wing bloggers, "Does this White House get anything right"? No, I'm not gonna link it up and give some twit the additional stroke in search results... I'm still trying to figure out how anyone is dumb enough to try to blame a lapse in security on the people being guarded. Kindly enlighten me?

But if you want some twisted logic, I'll be happy to oblige. You can take this to the bank: Republicans are fat people who are still confused about the difference between "pedestrians" and "pederasts." Don't follow? OK, hang onto your hats - it's gonna be a bumpy ride.



According to a recent article in "Men's Fitness,"  the ten fattest cities in America are

1. Louisville, KY
2. Charlotte, NC
3. Jacksonville, FL
4. El Paso, TX
5. Houston, TX
6. New York, NY
7. Las Vegas, NV
8. San Antonio, TX
9. Oklahoma City, OK
10. Miami, FL

Of those ten, half are in states that voted Republican in 2008, and ALL are in states that voted Republican in 2004. So according to the usual simplistic logic of the blogosphere, Republicans are fat. You with me so far?

OK, on to the confusion about "ped" words:

Another article, quoted in the Washington Post lists the ten worst cities for pedestrians based on the number of pedestrian deaths per 1000 residents normalized for the number of people who walk to work:

1. Atlanta, GA
2. Birmingham, AL
3. Houston, TX
4. Louisville, KY
5. Raleigh, NC
6. Memphis, TN
7. Jacksonville, FL
8. Miami, FL
9. Tampa-St Petersburg, FL
10. Orlando, FL

[Let me tell you up front - it simply amazes me that anyone would walk to work in Houston. It's taking your life in your hands!] Whatever, it's innarestin', ain't it: Houston, Miami, Louisville, and Jacksonville made both lists - and Las Vegas was #11 on the pedestrian-hater list (Memphis came in at 11 on the fatso parade).

OK, so based on those two published studies and the election map, the conclusions are obvious to anyone who falls for typical simplistic, bumper-sticker logic:

1) People who vote Republican are fat
2) People who vote Republican want to kill pedestrians

Any questions?