Fox Nation's Ten Core Axioms

Heard anyone decorate the phrase "politically correct" with an audible sneer lately? Sensed it when he or she said "PC" and wasn't referring to a personal computer? Then you've met a resident of the vast conservative echo chamber that calls itself Fox Nation. You know, cable-news junkies who get all their (mis)information from Rupert Murdoch's version of spin city, Fox News - or as some like to call it, Faux News.

We spent a few minutes not long ago listening to them slap each other on the back and compare horror stories about regulations run rampant and socialists in control of the country. Never mind that most of them couldn't pick out socialism on a two-choice multiple choice question... But anyway, we decided that they do have core principles (if you can call them "principles"), which require mindless adherence. By "mindless," we mean that any contradictory statement, no matter how well documented, is "a lie." 

Without further ado, here are ten (there are probably more, but thinking about them made our head hurt):

1. Barack Obama was born in Kenya and is secretly a Muslim
2. Al Gore claims he invented the internet
3. The mainstream media has a liberal bias
4. Snow in April proves global warming is a hoax
5. Actors have no right to talk about social issues, CEOs have every right to talk about social issues
6. A rising tide lifts all yachts
7. Ronald Reagan was a saint and the greatest president of all time - of any country!
8. The three most beautiful women in the world are Ann Coulter, Megyn Kelly and Sarah Palin.
9. The most evil billionaire in the world is George Soros. The rest of them are just peachy.
10. It is possible to deport every undocumented person in the country, and it won't cost the taxpayers a thing.

Know anyone who believes all of those statements with all his heart? Well, you've just met a resident of Fox Nation. 

Who Wants Honesty About the Iran Deal?

We all do. What we don't want is political posturing and spin. So here's what one person thinks about the deal:

The Congresscritters and Senators who are opposed to it have three main reasons; some of them have two of them (though I don't know of any who have all three). In no particular order, the reasons are

The Truth Behind Anti-Immigrant Fervor

If you want to see someone go from apparently normal to foaming at the mouth in two seconds, bring up the subject of immigration around a conservative. The most rabid of them think that every one of them criminal wetbacks should be shoved in an envelope and FedExed back to whatever banana republic they came from. Never mind that such a program would take years and bankrupt Homeland Security – it’s “worth it” to have the nasty little brown fuckers out of our country.

If you look around, you’ll find that some of the TEA party fanatics want to repeal the 14th amendment so that them there “anchor babies” lose their citizenship and Mommy and Daddy have to go home to spickville. Here’s one of those idiots right here.

Republicans are Fat People who Try to Kill Pedestrians

From the "You Could Look it Up" file...

In case you never noticed, twisted logic dominates political dialog. Take for instance the Texan who jumped the fence and wandered into the White House last week. Sayeth all those right-wing bloggers, "Does this White House get anything right"? No, I'm not gonna link it up and give some twit the additional stroke in search results... I'm still trying to figure out how anyone is dumb enough to try to blame a lapse in security on the people being guarded. Kindly enlighten me?

But if you want some twisted logic, I'll be happy to oblige. You can take this to the bank: Republicans are fat people who are still confused about the difference between "pedestrians" and "pederasts." Don't follow? OK, hang onto your hats - it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Do You Really Think I'm That Dumb?

Ahhh, Thanksgiving, when we stuff our faces and then sit around the table groaning with all those relatives and in-laws we only see a couple of times a year. If your family is like most, there will always be at least one person whose political leanings are diametrically opposed to yours. Sadly, in my family, my political leanings are diametrically opposed to everyone else's...

Since the rest of them all live in that great Fox News Darth Limbaugh echo chamber, they've forgotten how to think. Apparently when you let O'Reilly, et al., think for you most of the time, you figure everyone else is on the same page. So here's what I got from my nephew over the turkey on Thanksgiving.

Thanks, Congressman Culberson

On Friday, July 29, I contacted "my" representative in Congress, John Culberson (R, TX-07) to ask him to, for the good of the entire country, compromise on his TEA party principles (you know, let the Koch brothers and other billionaires keep their money). Here's the answer I got. Note that the email was in the form of a scanned letter, apparently to keep his constituents from rearranging his words - guess he learned that from watching Andrew Breitbart...

Not exactly a response... more of a campaign letter.

Guess who I'm voting for in 2012...

Real Kitchen-Table Economics

Conservative pundits and congresspeople (despite Congresswoman Bachmann's having permanently blurred the line between the two) love to natter on about how Joe Sixpack and his loving family get through hard times. If Jane Sixpack loses her job, they say, Joe and Jane and their 2.54 kids gather 'round the kitchen table (perhaps for the first time in months...) and make hard decisions to make ends meet. Little Joe Jr. doesn't get a new iPad, little Jennifer has to forego tickets to the next Justin Bieber concert. It's called "tightening the belt."

Of course, most of those pundits and congresspeople are millionaires who simply can't fathom what it's like to gather 'round the family kitchen table and tell the kids that there'll be no computer camp this summer or that they'll have to get school clothes at Wal-mart instead of Hollister. They certainly don't understand what it's like to make those changes when "eating out" means a once-a-month trip to the drive-through at Mickey-D's and new clothes already come from the thrift shop instead of Abercrombie and Fitch. For them, a change in income simply means cutting back on spending. Never mind that your housing, utilities, food, and car payments make up 110% of your income - just stop "wasting money" on dinners out and you'll be OK, they warble.

In my life, I've been out of a job, I've burned through most of my savings, and I've come to the end of my unemployment checks. And let me tell you, Party of No, that when you sit around the kitchen table and talk to your family, you do more than just say that Little Joey's gonna have to get by without a new wardrobe this fall. You also say, "We gotta bring in more." Whether one of you takes a part-time job, whether you sell the second car; whether you start selling family possessions on eBay; or whether you go to the boss and ask for a raise or some overtime, you look for some way to bring in more money. That's a revenue increase, for those of you who've never had to lie awake nights wondering if you would lose your house or ask the government for help.

If you people insist on talking about "kitchen-table economics," then you need a reality check. Sure, your first reaction when the family's income stream suddenly crashes is to cut back on spending - but people who been there know that it also means scrambling for more income. It's time to get real, people!