The Dumbass of the Day, September 10 (Houston Chronicle Edition)

Herman T. Wilson, Jr., of Houston is "Steamed" over the impending merger of Continental and United Airlines, especially the announcement that the new airline's HQ will be in Chicago. Fair enough, I'd have rather it stayed in Houston, though I have to admit that - if I worked for Continental - I'd be more than happy to get out of the hell that is Houston's summer.

But Hermie seems to also have a problem with scope. You see, Herm opens his missive by yammering, "Our hometown airline, Continental, will be President Obama's personal toy when merged with United Airlines."

What a fatuous idiot: how the everloving HELL does moving the combined airline's HQ to Chicago make it Obama's "personal toy"? No, wait, I get it: he hates Obama and wants the world to know. What he actually succeeded in showing the world is that he's a dumbass. Glad I could help.

Why I Love Facebook...

FOAFs. That's why - Friends Of A Friend. They are so incredibly entertaining sometimes!

Yesterday one of my (few) facebook friends suggested that a couple of well-known figures should be marooned on a desert island in a sort of winner-take-all cage match. All was cruising along until a FOAF chimed in with the following:  Contestant #1 "...is an ass, tried to run me over one day at [street corner]. What kind of douche has a nice black Corvette and pays a driver? That kind..."

Turns out FOAF is a bike messenger, which calls into question any statement about someone "trying to run [him] over," but we'll let that slide.

FOAF then says, "I was on a bicycle making a delivery to civil court. After the C*nt tried to hit me, he double parked outside of the court house. Really shocking right?"

Okay. Deep breath.

First, you jackass, a man isn't a "C*nt." Second, you moron, the guy wasn't driving the car. I repeat, you stupid asswipe, you yourself just said that the man you called a C*nt "pays a driver." Look up there- you said it, you stupid ass! So who is it that's a C*nt? Seems to me your beef is with the driver, not the man in the passenger seat.  No, wait, I'm sure you heard the man in the passenger seat shout to the driver, "Get that bike messenger!" You know what bothers me most about this exchange? this moron gets to vote.

I guess this is all because "No Child Left Behind" teaches people how to take tests, not how to think. No wonder Republicans love the idea so much.

Another Day, Another Moron

Some years ago I lived in Tyler, Texas, a place I decided had to be the buckle on the Bible Belt. In three years, I never got used to one habit of the town's huge gaggle of evangelical Christians: announcing at every possible juncture that "I am a Christian" and/or "Jesus Christ is my Lord and personal savior." Yeah, right - didn't stop them from hating, committing adultery, and a lot of other sins. But that's another subject.

So what got me thinking about this is the habit of some people (perhaps the same people?) of injecting their politics into every possible conversation - and I mean every conversation. A facebook friend posted a picture of his new baby granddaughter a couple of days ago, and mixed in with the congratulations and oohs! and aaahs! over the little lady's inherent beauty was this gem, posted by some moron claiming to be Patty Mitchell O'Neal:

"So tiny and fragile. Keep up the fight against Obama so that she can live a good and decent life. That man has me scared. She is so precious." [italics mine]

Ummm, need I say more? Just who is it who has so poisoned our culture that some idiot thinks it's socially acceptable to scrawl this kind of vitriolic graffito on a picture of a baby? Now there is someone who has me scared...

Lord, please deliver me from this kind of mindless hatred.